This is why I write.

This is why I write.

Obeying God is hard. Modeling Jesus is hard. Listening to the Holy Spirit is hard. Being a Christian is plain ol’ hard. It is hard because I must actively choose each day who I will serve. Me, or my God (Joshua 24:15).

Some days it is easier than others. But it is a choice that I make. Some days I fail, fall flat on my face, and fall to my knees.

But that doesn’t stop me from trying.

Yes, there are those moments when I feel utterly unworthy of the sacrifice Christ made. The moments when I want to run away from the Spirit guiding me into tough conversations and places. Those moments when understanding and accepting God’s grace is hard simply because it is not logical to me.

I am thankful to Lauren Winner for her book Still (BUY IT!) where she opens a chapter with this quote: “Loving God, it turns out, is hard precisely because it does not promise the reassuring logic of accomplishment and failure. – Ryan Netzley.”
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From “Still” by Lauren Winner

I read this quote 155 weeks ago (thanks Instagram for the count), and reflect upon it often.

Serving God isn’t easy. The whole idea of Christ dying for me isn’t a simple idea, nor one that is easy to swallow. It was a sacrifice. It was a time to see that being a believer isn’t meant to be comfortable. Because by being a person, you are growing and changing all the time, and that comes with uncomfortable moments.

As my father has declared, “We need to move beyond our comfort-zone Christianity.”

In America, we get to debate. Freely. Openly. And that can sometimes be Pandora’s box. Our feelings, opinions, and emotions all get to flow straight out into the internet world. Anyone can read them, and anyone can comment. Things can be taken out of context. Feelings can be hurt.

It is also a place where wounds can be healed. Words can educate. Words can challenge.

This is why I write.

Because I can and because I want to be challenged. I want to read words that make me uncomfortable. I want to read words that challenge me. I want to read words that heal me.

Yes, it will be hard. Yes, it will be uncomfortable. But I made that choice.

I decided I didn’t want an easy life. When I dedicated my life as a six year old, when I went through confirmation as an 8th grader, when in college I realized that a life serving God was truly live a life worth living, I decided.
And today when I woke up, I decided again.

This is why I write. As a reminder that I can write, and that I can share the hard stuff.

I write as a reminder that God didn’t call us into a comfortable, Christian world. Rather, he called us to love Him and to Love his people (Mark 12:30-31).

And that, my friends, is bound to be uncomfortable.

But it is also bound to be a joyful experience because I am a vessel of the good news of God’s grace. (Acts 20)
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